Determining your "Caregiving Readiness": PRE-ASSESSMENT

from When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving by Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. Below is No. 1 of 10 items on the Pres-Assessment.

Email Stephen Goldstein at trendsman@aol.com your comments and/or questions AFTER you benchmark your "readiness." He'll answer you personally!

Sooner or later, directly or indirectly, every American will be
involved in caregiving. It’s never too soon, or too late, to test yourself
to see how well prepared you are for what may turn out to be the
most challenging role of your life, but which you probably never
thought you’d have to play.

Caregivers need all the help they can get facing a reality they could
never have imagined for their own good and their family member’s wellbeing.
Without a doubt, being able personally to nurture parents in their
declining years is a joy. But it comes at a high price: throwing out all
inhibitions, prejudices, perceived limitations, expectations — and facing
having to do things you never thought you’d have to deal with.
Honest parental caregivers know you’ve gotta do what you’ve
gotta do, no matter what.

There is no single caregiving script to follow. No single book can
tell you everything you need to know, nor will there ever be one. Every
parent-patient is different. Too many authors and professionals sugarcoat
the challenges of being a parental caregiver or deal with them unrealistically.
Ultimately, you will be the best judge of your fitness for assuming
a role which is sure to change your life — way more even than being a
parent. You need to begin by starkly facing reality — by looking yourself
in the mirror and assessing yourself for the job.

Determining your “Caregiving Readiness” will help you benchmark
where you see yourself in terms of the attitudes and responsibilities
all caregivers need to have. There are no right or wrong answers, of
course. Be totally frank and honest. You’re only kidding yourself if you
aren’t and harming your chances of being the best caregiver you can be.
Who knows? You may discover you already are, or are potentially, the
consummate caregiver — or you are perfectly willing to put in the effort
to become one.

Determining your “Caregiving Readiness”:
Pre-Assessment
Scoring Your “Caregiving Readiness”
On a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (absolutely), circle
your score in response to the following statement:


1. I have thought through all the pros and cons of assuming
the responsibility for caregiving 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Before you score yourself, divide a sheet of paper into two
vertical columns. Mark one Pros and under it list everything
you can think of that would make you want to take
responsibility for caregiving.


Under Cons, list everything you can imagine that would make you not want to become
a caregiver. For example, in what column(s) would you
put how you feel about the people for whom you might be
caring? If you hate your mother, you’d be in for a bumpy
ride unless you can harness your negatives. You need to
be very clear about how you score this benchmark.


Unless your family member is clearly fading fast, your caregiving
may extend into months or years. Are you willing to take
one day at a time for however long it may be? If you don’t
give yourself a 10 here, you may be taking on a commitment
which will potentially ruin your life and shortchange
your family member.

What would you be willing to do to improve your score?
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To complete the remaining 9 crucial benchmarks in your "Caregiving Readiness": PRE-ASSESSMENT,,order your copy of When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name