(Fort Lauderdale, FL)—“It's a national disgrace that so many families dump their elderly parents in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Sons and daughters should invite their aging and aged mothers and dads to live them with them," says trends analyst and forecaster, and family caregiver, Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. (trendsman@aol.com, http://www.rationalcaregiving.blogspot.com/).
Goldstein’s just published memoir/how-to When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: A son’s “course” in “rational” caregiving, screams "Yes you can!" It's the first book families need to prepare for caring for again relatives, the caregiver’s "one-minute manager." Each brief, compelling, highly readable chapter turns what a son learned on-the-job into immediate help for others.
Step-by-step, Goldstein traces how his caregiving role evolved from nominal to 24/7. “I would never let my mother live in a nursing home," he says adamantly. So I had diplomatically to convince her to move in with me. Eventually, I had to learn to deal with various aspects of her dementia—getting used to finding a sandwich in the clothes dryer, changing her diaper (on rare occasions, thank God!), keeping her from choking to death--then, caring for myself after she died.
“I wrote the book I would have wanted to read before and while I was my mother’s caregiver—but which I never found!” Goldstein says. “There’s no theory here! It’s all useful information. Strategically placed throughout the book are 75 practical tips to turn my experience into advice others can use. My narratives make caregiving real. My tips make it manageable—even joyful.”
The book includes a “Caregiving Readiness Self-Assessment” so current and potential caregivers can benchmark and increase their ability to manage the often lonely, challenging, unpredictable, and overwhelming roles they may assume.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name is a one-man support group, written like a friend who’s “been-there-done-that,” talking anecdotally, but authoritatively, to a friend who needs help. It is raw and gritty, as well as funny and inspiring. It makes people weep, but also gives them hope that they can overcome a mountain of seemingly insurmountable challenges, for which they likely feel devastatingly unprepared.
The book and Kindle edition of When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name are available at http://www.amazon.com/, as well as at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/, http://www.hellgatepress.com/, other online booksellers and at bookstores nationwide. It is published by Grid Press, an imprint of L&R Publishing, Ashland, Oregon, http://www.hellgatepress.com/.#
This seems like a wonderful concept, but also seems extremely impractical. Since the majority of the households in this country are 2 income households, what do you propose children do with their senior parents, while both they and their spouse are at work, tie them to the bed? At least in a nursing home, or assisted living facility, they can socialize with others who are the same age as they are and they can be under constant supervision by individuals who are highly trained to deal with any situation that may arise.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I don't have children, but if we did, the last thing I would want to do, once I become a senior, is to be at the home of my children, where I have no interaction with those who are my age, and can't socialize and keep my body and brain active.
I would also feel a lot safer being surrounded by nurses that can help with a medical emergency.