from When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving
by Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_18?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name&sprefix=when+my+mother+no+%2Caps%2C257
The odds are unpaid family members will have to provide most
in-home care. But, because there may come a time when paid
professionals will need to assist them, it is never too early to weigh
the pros and cons of taking out long-term, in-home care insurance.
There’s a case to be made for getting it — or not. The care someone
needs may at first be minimal, lasting just a few hours, and the cost
may be manageable.
But the bill for 24/7 care can be astronomical.
When my mother needed round-the-clock care, we paid $400 per
day out-of-pocket, just for home-health aides. She had decided
against taking out an insurance policy. She only needed one-on-one,
professional assistance for a matter of weeks. But it still added up
quickly.
If she had paid thousands of dollars in insurance premiums
for years, it wouldn’t have been cost-effective for us.
In retrospect, we took a calculated risk and made the right choice. But we may
have been more lucky than wise. We could have faced a major
financial drain.
The lesson is to be prepared: Research your options
and plan ahead, especially for the unexpected, which can almost
be guaranteed to occur. And most important of all, know where the
money for long-term care is going to come from if it’s needed.
There are more than 75 tips in When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving, based upon a compelling narrative. Order your copy today from www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, or www.hellgatepress.com, the publisher.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Book signing/Reading in Fort Lauderdale, FL
RSVP: Come to my book signing/reading at Books & Books at the Museum of Art Fort Lauderdale on April 26.
I'll be talking about my latest, just-published book, When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving.
6-6:30 p.m.: wine & hors d'oeuvres; 6:30-7, reading & talk; 7-7:30, book-signing. To reserve your place & pre-order the book so you'll be SURE to have one for me to autograph, call Books & Books: 954-262-0255. I look forward to seeing YOU!
I'll be talking about my latest, just-published book, When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving.
6-6:30 p.m.: wine & hors d'oeuvres; 6:30-7, reading & talk; 7-7:30, book-signing. To reserve your place & pre-order the book so you'll be SURE to have one for me to autograph, call Books & Books: 954-262-0255. I look forward to seeing YOU!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D., is a seasoned professional, but nothing prepared him for being a caregiver to his beloved mother, especially when the heartache of dementia struck.
The experience moved him so deeply, he now shares his vast knowledge and keen insights in, ‘When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name’, a dynamic new book to help you and your family care for your loved ones.
Dr. Goldstein writes like a friend who’s been-there/done-that, guiding you through the complex caregiving maze—supplying solutions and hope in each gritty, inspiring and often humorous chapter.
Packed with down-to-earth practical advice and creative tips to make your journey easier, ‘When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name’, is available everywhere and a must-read for caregivers. Order it today!
The experience moved him so deeply, he now shares his vast knowledge and keen insights in, ‘When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name’, a dynamic new book to help you and your family care for your loved ones.
Dr. Goldstein writes like a friend who’s been-there/done-that, guiding you through the complex caregiving maze—supplying solutions and hope in each gritty, inspiring and often humorous chapter.
Packed with down-to-earth practical advice and creative tips to make your journey easier, ‘When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name’, is available everywhere and a must-read for caregivers. Order it today!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Determining your "Caregiving Readiness": PRE-ASSESSMENT
from When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving by Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. Below is No. 1 of 10 items on the Pres-Assessment.
Email Stephen Goldstein at trendsman@aol.com your comments and/or questions AFTER you benchmark your "readiness." He'll answer you personally!
Sooner or later, directly or indirectly, every American will be
involved in caregiving. It’s never too soon, or too late, to test yourself
to see how well prepared you are for what may turn out to be the
most challenging role of your life, but which you probably never
thought you’d have to play.
Caregivers need all the help they can get facing a reality they could
never have imagined for their own good and their family member’s wellbeing.
Without a doubt, being able personally to nurture parents in their
declining years is a joy. But it comes at a high price: throwing out all
inhibitions, prejudices, perceived limitations, expectations — and facing
having to do things you never thought you’d have to deal with.
Honest parental caregivers know you’ve gotta do what you’ve
gotta do, no matter what.
There is no single caregiving script to follow. No single book can
tell you everything you need to know, nor will there ever be one. Every
parent-patient is different. Too many authors and professionals sugarcoat
the challenges of being a parental caregiver or deal with them unrealistically.
Ultimately, you will be the best judge of your fitness for assuming
a role which is sure to change your life — way more even than being a
parent. You need to begin by starkly facing reality — by looking yourself
in the mirror and assessing yourself for the job.
Determining your “Caregiving Readiness” will help you benchmark
where you see yourself in terms of the attitudes and responsibilities
all caregivers need to have. There are no right or wrong answers, of
course. Be totally frank and honest. You’re only kidding yourself if you
aren’t and harming your chances of being the best caregiver you can be.
Who knows? You may discover you already are, or are potentially, the
consummate caregiver — or you are perfectly willing to put in the effort
to become one.
Determining your “Caregiving Readiness”:
Pre-Assessment
Scoring Your “Caregiving Readiness”
On a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (absolutely), circle
your score in response to the following statement:
1. I have thought through all the pros and cons of assuming
the responsibility for caregiving 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Before you score yourself, divide a sheet of paper into two
vertical columns. Mark one Pros and under it list everything
you can think of that would make you want to take
responsibility for caregiving.
Under Cons, list everything you can imagine that would make you not want to become
a caregiver. For example, in what column(s) would you
put how you feel about the people for whom you might be
caring? If you hate your mother, you’d be in for a bumpy
ride unless you can harness your negatives. You need to
be very clear about how you score this benchmark.
Unless your family member is clearly fading fast, your caregiving
may extend into months or years. Are you willing to take
one day at a time for however long it may be? If you don’t
give yourself a 10 here, you may be taking on a commitment
which will potentially ruin your life and shortchange
your family member.
What would you be willing to do to improve your score?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
To complete the remaining 9 crucial benchmarks in your "Caregiving Readiness": PRE-ASSESSMENT,,order your copy of When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
Email Stephen Goldstein at trendsman@aol.com your comments and/or questions AFTER you benchmark your "readiness." He'll answer you personally!
Sooner or later, directly or indirectly, every American will be
involved in caregiving. It’s never too soon, or too late, to test yourself
to see how well prepared you are for what may turn out to be the
most challenging role of your life, but which you probably never
thought you’d have to play.
Caregivers need all the help they can get facing a reality they could
never have imagined for their own good and their family member’s wellbeing.
Without a doubt, being able personally to nurture parents in their
declining years is a joy. But it comes at a high price: throwing out all
inhibitions, prejudices, perceived limitations, expectations — and facing
having to do things you never thought you’d have to deal with.
Honest parental caregivers know you’ve gotta do what you’ve
gotta do, no matter what.
There is no single caregiving script to follow. No single book can
tell you everything you need to know, nor will there ever be one. Every
parent-patient is different. Too many authors and professionals sugarcoat
the challenges of being a parental caregiver or deal with them unrealistically.
Ultimately, you will be the best judge of your fitness for assuming
a role which is sure to change your life — way more even than being a
parent. You need to begin by starkly facing reality — by looking yourself
in the mirror and assessing yourself for the job.
Determining your “Caregiving Readiness” will help you benchmark
where you see yourself in terms of the attitudes and responsibilities
all caregivers need to have. There are no right or wrong answers, of
course. Be totally frank and honest. You’re only kidding yourself if you
aren’t and harming your chances of being the best caregiver you can be.
Who knows? You may discover you already are, or are potentially, the
consummate caregiver — or you are perfectly willing to put in the effort
to become one.
Determining your “Caregiving Readiness”:
Pre-Assessment
Scoring Your “Caregiving Readiness”
On a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (absolutely), circle
your score in response to the following statement:
1. I have thought through all the pros and cons of assuming
the responsibility for caregiving 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Before you score yourself, divide a sheet of paper into two
vertical columns. Mark one Pros and under it list everything
you can think of that would make you want to take
responsibility for caregiving.
Under Cons, list everything you can imagine that would make you not want to become
a caregiver. For example, in what column(s) would you
put how you feel about the people for whom you might be
caring? If you hate your mother, you’d be in for a bumpy
ride unless you can harness your negatives. You need to
be very clear about how you score this benchmark.
Unless your family member is clearly fading fast, your caregiving
may extend into months or years. Are you willing to take
one day at a time for however long it may be? If you don’t
give yourself a 10 here, you may be taking on a commitment
which will potentially ruin your life and shortchange
your family member.
What would you be willing to do to improve your score?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
To complete the remaining 9 crucial benchmarks in your "Caregiving Readiness": PRE-ASSESSMENT,,order your copy of When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
Saturday, March 3, 2012
"The Joy of Caregiving"
by Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D.
from When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
Strange as it may sound, I also want to make America a nation of joyful caregivers. But how can I possibly write JOY and CAREGIVING in the same phrase? How can I suggest there could be anything upbeat about caring for a parent who no longer knew my name? I experienced it.
It took me four-and-a-half years and the sadness of living with my mother who had dementia to discover the "joy" of "caregiving," and it took me more than two years to write a book to relive it, tell my story, and share practical tips to show others how they too can become joyful in the most unlikely of circumstances. It isn't the sudden joy of seeing a newborn baby or graduating from college or of taking an exotic trip or winning the lottery or of any of the experiences people typically think lift their spirits. However powerful it may be, that kind of upbeat feeling attached to a given experience fades. The joy from caregiving is more like bliss--a stereophonic, profound and lasting feeling, a unique emotion that comes from giving your all for someone else while expecting absolutely nothing in return.
Overwhelming positives outweigh any and all the negatives of caring for someone whose life is slipping away. For me, nothing is more gratifying than knowing I gave my mother the best care she could possibly have gotten in the last years of her life--absolutely nothing! I cannot imagine not have done this for her. You don't know what love is until you've changed your mother's or father's diaper, survived the shock when they no longer know your name, or have spent time holding the hand of, and talking to, someone with dementia, whether they appear to understand what you're saying or not. In the end, one of the reards of caring for someone else is discovering a part of yourself you might never have known.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving is available from amazon.com in hard copy and Kindle editions. Order yours today: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
from When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
Strange as it may sound, I also want to make America a nation of joyful caregivers. But how can I possibly write JOY and CAREGIVING in the same phrase? How can I suggest there could be anything upbeat about caring for a parent who no longer knew my name? I experienced it.
It took me four-and-a-half years and the sadness of living with my mother who had dementia to discover the "joy" of "caregiving," and it took me more than two years to write a book to relive it, tell my story, and share practical tips to show others how they too can become joyful in the most unlikely of circumstances. It isn't the sudden joy of seeing a newborn baby or graduating from college or of taking an exotic trip or winning the lottery or of any of the experiences people typically think lift their spirits. However powerful it may be, that kind of upbeat feeling attached to a given experience fades. The joy from caregiving is more like bliss--a stereophonic, profound and lasting feeling, a unique emotion that comes from giving your all for someone else while expecting absolutely nothing in return.
Overwhelming positives outweigh any and all the negatives of caring for someone whose life is slipping away. For me, nothing is more gratifying than knowing I gave my mother the best care she could possibly have gotten in the last years of her life--absolutely nothing! I cannot imagine not have done this for her. You don't know what love is until you've changed your mother's or father's diaper, survived the shock when they no longer know your name, or have spent time holding the hand of, and talking to, someone with dementia, whether they appear to understand what you're saying or not. In the end, one of the reards of caring for someone else is discovering a part of yourself you might never have known.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving is available from amazon.com in hard copy and Kindle editions. Order yours today: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
954-772-7868
trendsman@aol.com
New book now available nationwide:
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name:
A son’s “course” in “rational” caregiving
(Fort Lauderdale, FL, Feb. 7, 2012)—“All families must accept responsibility for caring for their aging and aged relatives at home, instead of warehousing them in nursing homes and other facilities,” says trends analyst and forecaster, and family caregiver, Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. (trendsman@aol.com, www.rationalcaregiving.blogspot.com).
Goldstein’s memoir/how-to, When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: A son’s “course” in “rational” caregiving, should be the first book families read to prepare for caring for aging relatives. It’s the caregiver’s “one-minute manager.” Each brief, compelling, highly readable chapter turns what a son learned on-the-job into immediate help for others. Step-by-step, Goldstein traces how his caregiving role evolved from nominal to 24/7.
“To begin with, I had to convince my mother to move in with me, which required delicate diplomacy,” he remembers. “Eventually, I had to learn how to deal with the various phases of her dementia—getting used to finding a sandwich in the clothes dryer, changing her diaper (on rare occasions, thank God!), keeping her from choking to death, and finally caring for myself after she died.
“I wrote the book I would have wanted to read before and while I was my mother’s caregiver—but which I never found!” Goldstein says. “No theory here! It’s all useful information. Strategically placed throughout the book are 75 practical tips to turn my experience into advice others can use. My narratives make caregiving real. My tips make it manageable—even joyful.” The book includes a “Cargiving Readiness Self-Assessment” so current and potential caregivers can benchmark and enhance their ability to manage the often lonely, challenging, unpredictable, and overwhelming roles they may assume.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name is a one-man support group, written like a friend who’s “been-there-done-that,” talking anecdotally, but authoritatively, to a friend who needs help. It is raw and gritty, as well as funny and inspiring. It makes people weep, but also gives them hope that they can overcome a mountain of seemingly insurmountable challenges, for which they likely feel devastatingly unprepared.
Order When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name at www.amazon.com (hard copy & Kindle), at www.barnesandnoble.com (hard copy & Nook Book), www.hellgatepress.com, and bookstores nationwide. It is published by Grid Press, an imprint of L&R Publishing, Ashland, Oregon, www.hellgatepress.com.#
954-772-7868
trendsman@aol.com
New book now available nationwide:
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name:
A son’s “course” in “rational” caregiving
(Fort Lauderdale, FL, Feb. 7, 2012)—“All families must accept responsibility for caring for their aging and aged relatives at home, instead of warehousing them in nursing homes and other facilities,” says trends analyst and forecaster, and family caregiver, Stephen L. Goldstein, Ph.D. (trendsman@aol.com, www.rationalcaregiving.blogspot.com).
Goldstein’s memoir/how-to, When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: A son’s “course” in “rational” caregiving, should be the first book families read to prepare for caring for aging relatives. It’s the caregiver’s “one-minute manager.” Each brief, compelling, highly readable chapter turns what a son learned on-the-job into immediate help for others. Step-by-step, Goldstein traces how his caregiving role evolved from nominal to 24/7.
“To begin with, I had to convince my mother to move in with me, which required delicate diplomacy,” he remembers. “Eventually, I had to learn how to deal with the various phases of her dementia—getting used to finding a sandwich in the clothes dryer, changing her diaper (on rare occasions, thank God!), keeping her from choking to death, and finally caring for myself after she died.
“I wrote the book I would have wanted to read before and while I was my mother’s caregiver—but which I never found!” Goldstein says. “No theory here! It’s all useful information. Strategically placed throughout the book are 75 practical tips to turn my experience into advice others can use. My narratives make caregiving real. My tips make it manageable—even joyful.” The book includes a “Cargiving Readiness Self-Assessment” so current and potential caregivers can benchmark and enhance their ability to manage the often lonely, challenging, unpredictable, and overwhelming roles they may assume.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name is a one-man support group, written like a friend who’s “been-there-done-that,” talking anecdotally, but authoritatively, to a friend who needs help. It is raw and gritty, as well as funny and inspiring. It makes people weep, but also gives them hope that they can overcome a mountain of seemingly insurmountable challenges, for which they likely feel devastatingly unprepared.
Order When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name at www.amazon.com (hard copy & Kindle), at www.barnesandnoble.com (hard copy & Nook Book), www.hellgatepress.com, and bookstores nationwide. It is published by Grid Press, an imprint of L&R Publishing, Ashland, Oregon, www.hellgatepress.com.#
Friday, February 24, 2012
CareLinx: Working to find compatible care at a lower cost
There isn’t much debate over the difficulty in finding and managing quality home-care for a loved one; the process can be time-consuming, expensive, and daunting for some. President and CEO of CareLinx, Sherwin Sheik understands first-hand from experiences with his own family the challenge of finding the right caregivers. Because of this challenge, Sheik worked to start CareLinx, a new online service that empowers users to seek personalized connections with compatible caregivers.
CareLinx aims to empower individuals by giving them the ability to directly search and connect with caregivers that match their specific needs on multiple dimensions of compatibility. “By matching algorithms, similar to search engines like Yelp.com or an online compatibility service such as Match.com, the probability increases that clients will foster a more successful, productive and caring relationship,” says Sheik.
CareLinx is able to reduce the cost of care by giving everyone the tools they need to directly connect with caregivers and manage all their home care services online, thereby eliminating a lot of the administrative costs that large agencies charge.
CareLinx also helps to make the process safe too; caregiver profiles include professional credentials, applicable health care licensure, performance reviews from prior employers and the option to complete background checks online. A caregiver registered on the CareLinx website must be willing to undergo an extensive background check, which covers criminal court records, ID verification, credentials and references, and education. Once a caregiver passes the background check, a “Verified” icon appears on their profile, which is visible to families searching for match.
For more information on CareLinx or to join for free today, visit www.carelinx.com.
CareLinx aims to empower individuals by giving them the ability to directly search and connect with caregivers that match their specific needs on multiple dimensions of compatibility. “By matching algorithms, similar to search engines like Yelp.com or an online compatibility service such as Match.com, the probability increases that clients will foster a more successful, productive and caring relationship,” says Sheik.
CareLinx is able to reduce the cost of care by giving everyone the tools they need to directly connect with caregivers and manage all their home care services online, thereby eliminating a lot of the administrative costs that large agencies charge.
CareLinx also helps to make the process safe too; caregiver profiles include professional credentials, applicable health care licensure, performance reviews from prior employers and the option to complete background checks online. A caregiver registered on the CareLinx website must be willing to undergo an extensive background check, which covers criminal court records, ID verification, credentials and references, and education. Once a caregiver passes the background check, a “Verified” icon appears on their profile, which is visible to families searching for match.
For more information on CareLinx or to join for free today, visit www.carelinx.com.
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